Cat Calls from the Cow Stalls

So, it's been a long, busy, mostly event-less week. Work is progressing smoothly (though I still have a lot to learn) and I started receiving paychecks, which is cause for celebration. w00t.

I played with the dimensions of time and space within my future work environment enough to get a Saturday off to hit the MD Renn Fest before it closes, and to open on a Friday and close on a Saturday to give me a chance to finally come down and see the furnished apartment of Mssrs Adam and John.

I've mostly gotten over the two week long chest/head funk that filled me with glowing yellow bile that felt the desperate need to escape its imprisonment every time I began a conversation. Aside from having opened a bottle of wine this evening that had gone a rather pungent form of rancid during its containment, I have surprisingly little to report.

After a lengthy discussion of former dictators (Mao, Pol Pot, Uncle Joe and ol' V.I.I.) which led into topics ranging from Che Guevara to Ayn Rand ( holy god that was a slow day), my boss apparently wants to fix me up with a friend of his.

My aversion to blind dating completly aside... I don't know that I could survive dating a person who only came to mind during a debate featuring some of the most reviled and oddly unstudied men in history. I've no problem with THEM (the root of the debate), but I'm not nearly as intelectual as I know I came off in that interaction. ... I just realized how that sounds, this is not an ego fluffing request, nor is it personal negativism. It's a fact. I would drown in a dating environment fuled by that level of cerebral stimulation.

... I think mostly the issue is that I don't know that I'd mesh well with a girl who discusses zenophobic genocide and its place in the geo-poilitical market (given its affect on both those exterminating and those being exterminated) as light conversation.

Then again, I've tried dating dumb people. It doesn't work. *shrug*

Muhuhahahaha! I started with nothing and you got all this!
REJOICE, FOR I HAVE GIVEN UNTO YOU MOIST MORSELS OF MY MIND MEAT!

PRAISE HOJO!

Finance Shminance

In follow-up to my last post, our government has decided to bail AIG out of their situation. This cost us, the American populous, 85 billion dollars. I suppose we'd have cause to be upset by that if our nations roads and school systems weren't in such excellent, optimal-performing condition. Oh wait...

On the plus side, I don't have any money in our nations financial institutions. This allows me to express my quiet, almost genial outrage from within a safe (and quite fluffy) cocoon of neo-poverty.

Please bear in mind at all times that any political commentary emerging from me has all the validity of a safety lecture given by a man inside a rabid grizzly wearing pink lacy lingerie and a sign reading 'KEEP AWAY FROM THE GODDAMN BEAR'.

Wild Wacky Wall Street

For those of you who aren't aware, Lehman Brothers went bankrupt and their partner AIG wasn't left on sound footing. In the aftermath, Bank Of America bought Merrill Lynch. Not alarming news for most of us, but it's always good to know why news casters and financial experts are screaming the word 'APOCALYPSE'.

http://www.networkworld.com/news/2008/091508-wall-street-
shakeup.html?ts0hb&story=ts_hp




Job looks great. Thanks for the support guys.

PRAISE HOJO! (while you can still afford it)

First Day, First Dollar

I survived my first day in overly well dressed land. A bit much to take in all at once, with my second day looming before me full of a twelve hour shift and observation by my district manager, but I'll survive. *shrug* It's not rocket science, it's ordering tuxedos for people and making sure they buy the little add ons.

It's an interesting experience learning from people I was hired to be the boss of. I've been expressly told to find a way to balance an image of authority with my complete ignorance of the ins and outs of the system. It's embarrassing and a perverted kind of fun in equal measure.

My first day of retail work in a year took its toll. Oddly though, class (3 hours) was only 20 minutes long for me. I did the assigned in class work and was told I could leave. God bless hybrid classes.

....praise Hojo.

Fat-Cat Fidelio

So I got clothed up today, just a few essentials till I get my first paycheck. I must say though... the black on black on lavender with matching tie and pocket kerchief is ... unintentionally pimpalisious. Also, I lucked up and they forced my electronic paperwork through over the phone so I could get my discount before my first actual day of work.

40% off all things pimp. Some one pinch me.

The kerchief is amazing. It's neatly folded triangles of material attached to the top of a synthetic card that fits perfectly inside the pocket of a shirt. How did I ever live without this? No fuss, No muss, All smoooooooth pimp.

I would apologize for the nearly giddy state I seem to be in about this, but I have to be up at 4:15 to drive the rents to the airport before going to my store to fill out paperwork before the mall opens then run the rest of the errands lined up for tomorrow.

Must Sleep Now.

Hey kid... you ever dance with Hojo in the pale moonlight?

Aesops Foibles

So, a friend of mine is a manager at Walmart and offered me a hassle free job. All I had to do was fill out the application paperwork and sit back and wait.
Which, for those of you playing the home game, means that I was willingly walking into the gaping maw of doom.

...however

I just got the Assistant Manager Job at MW TUX.

Sunday is my first paid day and I don't even have to show up till Monday to start working. Full benefits and an acceptably hefty salary that comes out to just over 11 an hour plus commission on salable items (as opposed to rented stuff). That commission is apparently HUGE during wedding season.

And just like that - I'm back in retail management.

Hojo has a mean sense of humor.

Acid Washed Genes

'On a long enough time line the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.'

So quoth Tyler Durden in Fight Club. Tyler Durden, the truly inspirational brainchild of Chuck Palahniuk, tossed off little insights into human nature that stuck with me in a way that most pop-culture brilliantly fails to do.

'It's only after we've lost everything that were free to do anything.'
'It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.'
'Hey, even the Mona Lisa's falling apart.'
'With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.'
'I flipped through catalogs and wondered: What kind of dining set defines me as a person?'

Brilliantly written and flawlessly exicuted my Mr. Pitt and Mr. Norton.

Anyway... Mr Palahniuk wrote another book thats currently under production as a major motion picture. It's called 'Choke', and looks simply fantastic. Check it out.

http://www.foxsearchlight.com/choke/

-Praise Hojo!

Living Space Lumbago

Adam and John are moved in, and they have yet to post about it.

It's Wednesday fella's. You've been moved in since Sunday.

The move was long and hard and painful and fun. Adam from 3rd floor Falls Church to 4th floor Silver Spring, John from Bowie. Personally, the Niq was destroyed. Then again, I didn't have to work on Tuesday morning.

The apt is great gang. It's huge.

There, someone who was there commented that it happened.

-PRAISE HOJO, DAMN IT!